update?
and now...the end is near~ and so I face...
the final paper~
Wednesday - Final paper due date
Tuesday - final touches and fixer-upers and whatnot on paper. tie loose ends. wrap it up. No classes. Almost forgot. Must remember.
Monday - Will start with the whole fixing...neglected tasks...since I wasn't home over the weekend. ROTC thing. -__-
Well...well...who would have thought my blog was included in the list of updated blogs. I feel guilty really for not updating this and talking all weird when i do. I'm so guilty that everytime a comment is mentioned about the whole writing and blog thing, I feel as if it is directed towards me even if it's not...^_^;...hehe
wow. I didn't think it would be over soon. I'm so glad Abby and I got to work together on this. If I decided to do this thing on my own, I'd be more stressed than I already am...and my eyebags would need bras to hold up...-__-;...
I'd have to start editing the paper soon. It's not as easy as it seems. doing the whole correcting and stuff. I have trouble starting papers, and abby has a hard time finishing them. We're doing alright I guess. She starts it, I fill in the missing portions, continue, edit, and finish. Then I let her check for it and there. When I panic, she's the calm one. When she's in a panic, I'm the calm one. We take turns. Yay. at least there's a balance.
hrm...I dunno what else to type for now. So i'll leave it here for now I guess...
---and through it all, when there was doubt I ate it up, and spit it out~
the record shows, we took the blows~
and did it...ouuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrr~ waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...
okay. i must be high on melon juice. Yum. for only P15 @ Aristo (for the...umm...aged ones?/Animo canteen for the newbs)
YAY! entry!
OH SHOOT! it's almost been a MONTH! a MONTH since my update! darn...-__-;;;
well, so much has happened already...regarding the english paper...
The interview with Mr. Erasga finally pushed through around...2 or 3 weeks ago...after so many delays... It was our first real interview and i was really nervous. It can be heard from the recordings. I didn't have the courage to knock at the door of the faculty room, so abby did that part... Oh well, I did the actual interview...so that's team work...^_^;
it's already been so long since that first interview and we still have two more to go! -__-;
it's really hard chasing after the interviewees. We've been chasing them eversince...
we never really got to follow the interview questions that we made since we realized that not all of them can be answered by just one person...
sociological perspective on women's violence = okay! cleared!
psychological perspective on women's violence = no progress (person lost in action)
philosophical perspective on women's violence = pending (disappeared?)
hmm...still have lots to do this weekend. Abby was panicking yesterday...the paper would be due on tuesday...so we'd be doing lotsa stuff this weekend...and we still have to study for genpsych
I am so glad that I have Abby...it takes out the stress...we take turns in being stressed. One time i'd be panicking like crazy and she'd be like... dum di dum di doo honky dorry (sp?) okay and then we switch...
oh the balance...how sweet...^__^
well, i think i should REMEMBER to update more often...as in REALLY...-__-;
i guess i shouldnt have exhausted myself with making uber long entries...and then failing to make more...-__-;;;
i'll just have to catch up, i guess. ^_^;...tis it for now...no juicyness...sorry
will come up with something!!!
it has already been more than 2 weeks since i last updated. oh my. i really have been absent minded lately (a lot of annoyingly stupid things happened...there was one time last week when i left my jacket and brought my pants instead...but moving on)...
research research.
so far, we're already done with the survey questionaires...we are currently in the process of collecting data. I was supposed to pass out the survey to my fellow medics during ROTC just last saturday but then Abby failed to give me the questionaires...she took it by mistake...and she did not want to survey the CWTS people because it's a hassle she says...-__-;...
oh well, anyway...what else?
well, we were supposed to interview sir erasga last friday. We asked him days earlier and he said he'd be free on friday after our class and we could do it at that time...well...plans changed i guess. I ran after him last friday after he disappeared and then said he still has class. I guess he forgot...hmm...well, at least he told us he could have it monday...so that's...today...hopefully things go well. We're going to have to change some questions and add more and so on since not all of the questions we came up with are applicable to him, i think. I'm really nervous right now. Truly. Oh but then this will pass. soon. it will be over and done with.
-sigh of sighs-
I think it would be better if the interview is done somewhat casually...you know...comfortably...i wouldn't want it to be too stiff. I don't think sir erasga would want that either anyway. I think he'd answer the questions as colorful as he can. That would take some stress away, hopefully.
Hmm...what else? well, we are planning to get Ms. de la Cruz...our former prof in philosophy...have not reached her still, but hopefully by this week it would all be fixed. I'll try to talk to sir resurrecion tomorrow after genpsych...i think he can be interviewed too...
not sure what else to type. I think my very long entry that came before this somewhat exhausted me...so it really took awhile before i got to type again. Oh well.
this is it for now!
glargh...drafting tomorrow...>__<
i think i'd really have to print stuff now...
a long entry...i don't know what to put as a title that's why this is the title!
before i forget to post again, and end up losing my chance to get the 0.5 bonus that may be VERY very helpful to me and my future (sort of), i shall now blog because as i said...I may forget to post again and also, i would end up being (a bit) frustrated because i have these thoughts in my head that i want to blog about regarding this whole ing-gu-rish...ack...english two research paper thingamabob.
Hmm...for some reason, I think I have used inapropriate words. Words that may end up melting other people's ears. (Thingamabob?...right...oh yes, Mr. Webster...call the grammar police/english department and have me arrested)...anyway...i do not want to care so much. It is by just freeeeeeeeeeeely typing and not thinking about the rules, technicalities and such, and so on and whatever else can I be true to what I will be blogging. And hey, I am required to write in an academic sort of way for scholastic papers (am i even using the correct terms? oh! oh...stop talking to yourself while typing already...talking to yourself in your head...but hmm...hmm...this is theraphy, maybe...yeah...well, going back...i have to constrain myself somehow and write in a certain fashion because some things just call for that) and so this is the only time (well, not the only, only time) for me to just write the nonsensical sensicalities accumulating in my head. I think I need to be comfortable since...this is
my blog afterall.
So what now? Well...an update, An Update...now where shall I start? From last week i guess...a bit of it at least.
So finally, Abby and I had decided on a topic. It was the women's violence topic. I don't know but there was just a mixture of feelings at that time because...well...first things first...When we had our topics checked, Ms. Eda (oh this feels really odd...i mean to type about this when I KNOW that eventually, this will be read by the very person I have mentioned...ack...so now how do I go through with this? eeeh...it feels...eeeehhhhh (whatever that means)...i just have this thing about human beings being prone to lying and covering up...being plastic and so on...human tendency to say this and that to please people...well...i just do.not.like.that.and. that is why i just want to write as freely as possible and just dump my thoughts. glargh...i confuse me...now where was it?...oh yeah...i like talking to myself, do i not? oh yes i do...and i guess some people may find it amusing that i even let them know this...or that i do this...so again...anyway) picked the chocolate topic. I had just come from the library at that time...inquiring for the bonus points (oh darn...we never got that...hasty hasty...)...i even saw that MOCC boy person (the one who is also in my filipi1 class...more on that person later...maybe...if i remember) on the third floor by the check out counter, asking the male librarian (about the bonus points, sure enough)...it may just be me but uhh...well, he saw me
i think...and it's just a bit odd coz he (from the way i see...well...saw it) ran fast, after getting the info he had gathered up the 4th floor to the archives to ask some more. I had a vague feeling that he may have been surprised to see me there...the competition for the bonus points so...well...it could have just been me and my scenarios again. well...i was in the library...i posted my incomplete answers in the yahoo groups
lesson learned : do not be hasty.
slowly but surely. just like the turtle.argh...my train of thought was just derailed...now to go back...
so i was at the library...did random and non random things that i would not anymore mention because i'd get lost and start talking about the weather...and then i left to claim the topic proposal. It was already a few minutes past 4 and i thought i was late and anyway (i will not delve on the 4pm thing. I have issues with schedules and designated time slots. I don't feel comfy being late) I went to William Hall 3rd floor and I was just right on time because I saw Ms.Eda walking right in front of me. She turned around and [side note: this is not a blow by blow detailed account] said something along the lines of "I'm sorry, I picked the chocolate topic"...and i actually forgot what I said but it might have been "awww...really? 6.6 " or something like that...i don't think i asked why but it may be something like that too. I don't know. After a few seconds of thought I was wondering why she said sorry. Was she thinking that I was thinking in an egocentric la di da dudidu way (ugh...i really do not know why i typed that like that....ambiguity~...dear me i do not even know what i mean exactly...i'm also watching the scene as it unfolds...that is to say, i am (most of the time while typing this entry) typing these words straight out without concocting sentences in the most logical-and-prettyfull planned out fashion. I mean...i could do that but...
meh. I don't see the need right now. again...GOING BACK...
...in an egocentric la di da dudidu way that I was expecting that my topic should be IT or whatever...and she's sorry because she may have disappointed me...burst my bubble...or something like that
well...yes...I felt a bit bad for some reason...and it was really bothering me why she said sorry to me. so i was thinking and thinking and i think i was just like this---> (.__.) hrmmm
or something similar
I waited outside the English dept door...I was wondering why it was taking her so long to come out to gimme the paper...I was waiting...waiting...I was actually just by the door for quite some time...and feeling silly just standing there, i sat down and waited. I was thinking of coming inside but I might appear really impatient so...Well, fast forward a bit, some girls from Ms. Eda's class too (i think they're my...ENGLTWO classmates...not sure...they asked me about the thesis proposals so) and asked where Ms. Eda was and where the papers are and i said she's still inside and well...I ended up going inside with the girl and looked for Ms. Eda.
it turns out the papers are in the pigeon hole. Absent minded jannaaquino...-__-;
after that i saw Miss again and i asked her things (and no, i will not anymore talk about. must stop fingers from typing every detail and brain from providing the details) and then i told abby the case...and then
well...we were still undecided. I was thinking about what Miss said. specifically the : "Are you sure you still want to be partners with Abby" and the one that may sort of translate to 'you seem really passionate/groundedon your topic/may not be open to an idea of another topic so...' or something.
so I was thinking really hard. Whether I'd go with the chocolate topic too or if I'd pursue my own topic. It was hard. First I was thinking about how Abby would feel about what I might decide to do... I know she's really game on the 'violent women' topic...but then I do not want to force her to do the topic...i mean...hey, chocolate was recommended! I do not want to be a selfish brat who wants to have things done her way...and so, i did not want to care so much anymore. I would just go with whatever topic
...challenge
always look on the bright side of life! toodu tududududududududu!
nurninur
Now what? Well...in the end, we ended up doing the topic i suggested...-__-;...just when i was already game and wanted to do just SOMETHING and then make it work and then i'll be happy and just...fweeeeeee!
jibber...jabber...gibberish...jannish
On women's violence...
well...so far...we're...doing
Okay. i think.
[just how do you gauge things anyway? -__-...what's okay?...]
well...as vague as that comment is...well...
blah. we're doing alright as of the moment. A little stressed. Dark under eye circles growing darker (saw ms. the other day too...and i couldn't translate my thoughts into words again and was a little panicky when i was talking to her...she said i looked
puyat...it was kinda funny how another person said something similar earlier that day. and i said "i always look
puyat" to ms. eda...and to my blockmate who told me something about my eyebags, i said "matagal na...^_^"...)...so i'm stressed i guess. More than the usual. Well, i really should cut down on worrying. I worry about so many little things. silly things. I make other people's problems my problems...and no, I'm not a nice person (sorry for being defensive...people just have this thing about people being nice when they worry about others). Maybe in reference to worse creatures, I am...but on my own I am not...i just worry too much. I'm just a busybody maybe...yeah...thats that...or something... I remember one time, when i was sick last year...i thinking about...the world...-___-...and the pain i was experiencing i was thinking it was doing some good...talk about catatonic. I was even praying for the world's future...and in my head i was thinking (i just heard something on the news about the number of priests dropping) that i should make it my mission to pray and encourage people to go and take the religious path...be a priest and so on...
oh crappitty! tis already 5:21! i've been typing for ages! and i'm not even done with what i was to say...i was gonna say something about today! oh but darn it...
to be continued some other time i guess. Oh i should really learn time management...along with other things i want to learn...like make tofu...and play the violin...make explosives...get a bone structure of some animal and display it somewhere...cook awesome food...get back into drawing and doing artwork...learn how to swim...be a neat and clean person (oh my room is just....oh no words to describe it...and i even hope i'm exaggerating...but anyway)
randomidity : I wonder how many times i said "something" in this entry...i kept on repeating that. Must really broaden my vocabulary. oh but at least it's not..."like"...like...you know...stuff...and like...and like...and and...
hehe...i wonder what word was repeated the most...not counting the "I" and "the" and those of the sort.
I must fix my stuff. and go to the bathroom. Tis quite cold here in the library...
hmm...i think my feet are stinking...and i did not even need to type that and let the world know but yeah...i did...
this has to end here for now. 5:27pm, January 26, 2005. 2nd floor library study area near the window...2nd row carrell starting from the directors office and that painting that seems to be about sabong. here i sit. and in awhile i shall stand. on to different things
tis five-twenty-nine
i whine
signing out!
-end this with a period.-
period.
I want to write something I want to write about. I do not really feel like writing about something I do not particularly like...but then, we cannot always have our way now could we?
I do not want to pick a topic only on the basis that it would be less complicated...oh i cannot really express my thoughts right now.
Why is it that when I do not have a keyboard or a pen at hand, i have so many things i would want to say...and now that i am right here and i just want to spill my frustration, my thoughts on matters that i cannot even name anymore, here i am stuck with nothing to say.
oh. oh. oh.
A few days back, Abby and I decided that we should just team up on the research paper. We figured things would be much easier that way. She's having problems with her research and I am having problems with my own research as well...so...
anyway...we still have not decided on what we should do.
just awhile ago we were thinking we'd just pick another topic because
violent women and chocolates are into hiding
well...not really...more like sources about those things are hard to find...then again, tis possible we're just not looking well enough
hmm...just now i had this strange mental image of a violent woman going on a rampage...holding a chocolate bar and going RAR. darn mental images.
moving on...
I remembered my paper for English in 4th year. It was about Platonic relationships between men and women...
It was not your every day eazypeezylemonsqueezy type of topic. The odds were against me...but somehow, I made it work. It was quite a miraculous thing...me finding enough sources... direct sources were not really that many and so i had to infer. make connections.
argh. sigh of sighs.
I'm just frustrated and desperate now...I don't really care much about what topic the research paper would be about. Whatever it is, we would just have to make it work.
I think we'd just be sticking to chocolates or violence by women...whatever works...
after some thinking, we found it would even be more complicated if we propose new topics...like gay adoption or dog eaters.
It is already 3:25...abby left about 50 minutes ago. we were here in the library before 1pm...looking for journal articles on either topic...-__-
some relevant journals appear to be available only online...dlsu library subscription...or something like that. We'll be checking that out. The journals section in the second floor made me dizzy.
randomidity : It is annoying that I cannot find the hard copy of Psychology today Nov-Dec 1999 issue. The library had the 19-sixty-somethings, 1970-somethings, and 1980++ archives of Psychology today...they also had year two thousand and yadi yah. why the missing issues? -_- the issues that I need.
ack. itchy itchy throat.
back to research.
oh problem.
I want to write.
I cannot really claim to love writing or be good at it. I only recently realized that not everything that i write is classfied under 'crappy scrap'when some people somehow told me that (though i'm not so sure how) i can write (well?) and i should continue writing.
I want to write.
I want to write, and I want to want what i write. i want to want to write. i want to like what i will write.
but i do not know how to start.
--------------------------
-01262005 side note-
i wasnt able to finish this entry and i don't think i would be...anymore...i had this in drafts thinking i may be able to continue it but anyway...i'm just publishing this because it would be a waste if i don't. i already lost my train of thought so...
well...
that's that
And so another blog is born
Just an introduction of sorts. This is another [supposedly] academic blog created by I (whoever that is)...
This is supposed to be a weekly updated blog for English two. Now, now...I do not really know how to start. I just find introductions hard to make.
Last week (that was a few days ago) January 5, we had our first English2 meeting. As to be expected from first meetings, we did not tackle any heavy English2 stuff yet. There was a short course introduction, hand-outs were given, a short activity was done, etc. etc.
I do not really know how to react yet. Here comes another English course i would have to...somehow...battle with
Expect the unexpected.
oh just how do you expect the unexpected!?
It is possible to witness a lot of bloody red ink dabbled on pages. The horror.
I terrify myself...-__-;
I hope to live through this. handle my nerves. handle the ink, the writing, the pressure.
...without self combustion occuring...without me imploding and destroying my insides...or being sucked in some black-hole-like place inside the possible existing abyss in my head...
nonsensenonsensicalnonsensefulless
