...Ellipses&Ampersand

a long entry...i don't know what to put as a title that's why this is the title!

before i forget to post again, and end up losing my chance to get the 0.5 bonus that may be VERY very helpful to me and my future (sort of), i shall now blog because as i said...I may forget to post again and also, i would end up being (a bit) frustrated because i have these thoughts in my head that i want to blog about regarding this whole ing-gu-rish...ack...english two research paper thingamabob.

Hmm...for some reason, I think I have used inapropriate words. Words that may end up melting other people's ears. (Thingamabob?...right...oh yes, Mr. Webster...call the grammar police/english department and have me arrested)...anyway...i do not want to care so much. It is by just freeeeeeeeeeeely typing and not thinking about the rules, technicalities and such, and so on and whatever else can I be true to what I will be blogging. And hey, I am required to write in an academic sort of way for scholastic papers (am i even using the correct terms? oh! oh...stop talking to yourself while typing already...talking to yourself in your head...but hmm...hmm...this is theraphy, maybe...yeah...well, going back...i have to constrain myself somehow and write in a certain fashion because some things just call for that) and so this is the only time (well, not the only, only time) for me to just write the nonsensical sensicalities accumulating in my head. I think I need to be comfortable since...this is my blog afterall.

So what now? Well...an update, An Update...now where shall I start? From last week i guess...a bit of it at least.

So finally, Abby and I had decided on a topic. It was the women's violence topic. I don't know but there was just a mixture of feelings at that time because...well...first things first...When we had our topics checked, Ms. Eda (oh this feels really odd...i mean to type about this when I KNOW that eventually, this will be read by the very person I have mentioned...ack...so now how do I go through with this? eeeh...it feels...eeeehhhhh (whatever that means)...i just have this thing about human beings being prone to lying and covering up...being plastic and so on...human tendency to say this and that to please people...well...i just do.not.like.that.and. that is why i just want to write as freely as possible and just dump my thoughts. glargh...i confuse me...now where was it?...oh yeah...i like talking to myself, do i not? oh yes i do...and i guess some people may find it amusing that i even let them know this...or that i do this...so again...anyway) picked the chocolate topic. I had just come from the library at that time...inquiring for the bonus points (oh darn...we never got that...hasty hasty...)...i even saw that MOCC boy person (the one who is also in my filipi1 class...more on that person later...maybe...if i remember) on the third floor by the check out counter, asking the male librarian (about the bonus points, sure enough)...it may just be me but uhh...well, he saw me i think...and it's just a bit odd coz he (from the way i see...well...saw it) ran fast, after getting the info he had gathered up the 4th floor to the archives to ask some more. I had a vague feeling that he may have been surprised to see me there...the competition for the bonus points so...well...it could have just been me and my scenarios again. well...i was in the library...i posted my incomplete answers in the yahoo groups

lesson learned : do not be hasty.

slowly but surely. just like the turtle.

argh...my train of thought was just derailed...now to go back...

so i was at the library...did random and non random things that i would not anymore mention because i'd get lost and start talking about the weather...and then i left to claim the topic proposal. It was already a few minutes past 4 and i thought i was late and anyway (i will not delve on the 4pm thing. I have issues with schedules and designated time slots. I don't feel comfy being late) I went to William Hall 3rd floor and I was just right on time because I saw Ms.Eda walking right in front of me. She turned around and [side note: this is not a blow by blow detailed account] said something along the lines of "I'm sorry, I picked the chocolate topic"...and i actually forgot what I said but it might have been "awww...really? 6.6 " or something like that...i don't think i asked why but it may be something like that too. I don't know. After a few seconds of thought I was wondering why she said sorry. Was she thinking that I was thinking in an egocentric la di da dudidu way (ugh...i really do not know why i typed that like that....ambiguity~...dear me i do not even know what i mean exactly...i'm also watching the scene as it unfolds...that is to say, i am (most of the time while typing this entry) typing these words straight out without concocting sentences in the most logical-and-prettyfull planned out fashion. I mean...i could do that but...

meh. I don't see the need right now. again...GOING BACK...

...in an egocentric la di da dudidu way that I was expecting that my topic should be IT or whatever...and she's sorry because she may have disappointed me...burst my bubble...or something like that

well...yes...I felt a bit bad for some reason...and it was really bothering me why she said sorry to me. so i was thinking and thinking and i think i was just like this---> (.__.) hrmmm
or something similar

I waited outside the English dept door...I was wondering why it was taking her so long to come out to gimme the paper...I was waiting...waiting...I was actually just by the door for quite some time...and feeling silly just standing there, i sat down and waited. I was thinking of coming inside but I might appear really impatient so...Well, fast forward a bit, some girls from Ms. Eda's class too (i think they're my...ENGLTWO classmates...not sure...they asked me about the thesis proposals so) and asked where Ms. Eda was and where the papers are and i said she's still inside and well...I ended up going inside with the girl and looked for Ms. Eda.

it turns out the papers are in the pigeon hole. Absent minded jannaaquino...-__-;

after that i saw Miss again and i asked her things (and no, i will not anymore talk about. must stop fingers from typing every detail and brain from providing the details) and then i told abby the case...and then

well...we were still undecided. I was thinking about what Miss said. specifically the : "Are you sure you still want to be partners with Abby" and the one that may sort of translate to 'you seem really passionate/groundedon your topic/may not be open to an idea of another topic so...' or something.

so I was thinking really hard. Whether I'd go with the chocolate topic too or if I'd pursue my own topic. It was hard. First I was thinking about how Abby would feel about what I might decide to do... I know she's really game on the 'violent women' topic...but then I do not want to force her to do the topic...i mean...hey, chocolate was recommended! I do not want to be a selfish brat who wants to have things done her way...and so, i did not want to care so much anymore. I would just go with whatever topic

...challenge

always look on the bright side of life! toodu tududududududududu!

nurninur

Now what? Well...in the end, we ended up doing the topic i suggested...-__-;...just when i was already game and wanted to do just SOMETHING and then make it work and then i'll be happy and just...fweeeeeee!

jibber...jabber...gibberish...jannish

On women's violence...
well...so far...we're...doing

Okay. i think.

[just how do you gauge things anyway? -__-...what's okay?...]

well...as vague as that comment is...well...

blah. we're doing alright as of the moment. A little stressed. Dark under eye circles growing darker (saw ms. the other day too...and i couldn't translate my thoughts into words again and was a little panicky when i was talking to her...she said i looked puyat...it was kinda funny how another person said something similar earlier that day. and i said "i always look puyat" to ms. eda...and to my blockmate who told me something about my eyebags, i said "matagal na...^_^"...)...so i'm stressed i guess. More than the usual. Well, i really should cut down on worrying. I worry about so many little things. silly things. I make other people's problems my problems...and no, I'm not a nice person (sorry for being defensive...people just have this thing about people being nice when they worry about others). Maybe in reference to worse creatures, I am...but on my own I am not...i just worry too much. I'm just a busybody maybe...yeah...thats that...or something... I remember one time, when i was sick last year...i thinking about...the world...-___-...and the pain i was experiencing i was thinking it was doing some good...talk about catatonic. I was even praying for the world's future...and in my head i was thinking (i just heard something on the news about the number of priests dropping) that i should make it my mission to pray and encourage people to go and take the religious path...be a priest and so on...

oh crappitty! tis already 5:21! i've been typing for ages! and i'm not even done with what i was to say...i was gonna say something about today! oh but darn it...

to be continued some other time i guess. Oh i should really learn time management...along with other things i want to learn...like make tofu...and play the violin...make explosives...get a bone structure of some animal and display it somewhere...cook awesome food...get back into drawing and doing artwork...learn how to swim...be a neat and clean person (oh my room is just....oh no words to describe it...and i even hope i'm exaggerating...but anyway)

randomidity : I wonder how many times i said "something" in this entry...i kept on repeating that. Must really broaden my vocabulary. oh but at least it's not..."like"...like...you know...stuff...and like...and like...and and...

hehe...i wonder what word was repeated the most...not counting the "I" and "the" and those of the sort.

I must fix my stuff. and go to the bathroom. Tis quite cold here in the library...

hmm...i think my feet are stinking...and i did not even need to type that and let the world know but yeah...i did...

this has to end here for now. 5:27pm, January 26, 2005. 2nd floor library study area near the window...2nd row carrell starting from the directors office and that painting that seems to be about sabong. here i sit. and in awhile i shall stand. on to different things

tis five-twenty-nine

i whine

signing out!

-end this with a period.-

period.

posted by drifting reverie @ 12:05 AM